Dear Friend (who cannot be named)

When the campaign period began in 2016, we decided to support different candidates but vowed to remain friends. When Digong won, you invited me to eat out. I love that you were magnanimous in victory (but stingy because you did not allow me to have steak). That night, we avoided politics and talked about anything and everything else until we both had to report for work -- no showers, no change of clothes.

Since then we have had numerous impassioned discussions and fiery debates over our body politics. Even if we felt like killing each other several times over, we have remained friends.

Lately, we have not had a chance to sit down for coffee or break bread because of the pandemic. I miss arguing with you.

For almost 2 months now, we have not had a chance to even talk because you are always bushed now that your Mom and Dad’s Alzheimer’s are in Stages 5 and 7, respectively. Good thing you can work from home and your faithful kasambahay is still, well, loyal.

Boy was I shocked when, from out of the blue, you texted to taunt me about the non-renewal of ABS-CBN’s franchise. I did not respond. But we both know I will not remain quiet.

So here goes. Is your life any better now that Congress has slammed the lid on ABS-CBN?

There are a lot of new items I wish to discuss with you, but I know better than rile you at a time when you barely have time to call your very patient and understanding fiancée.

Let me pause and give you time to catch your breath.

I must admit I really am itching to debate with you, but I love you too much to be either a rock or a hard place (or both) when you have been so sleep-deprived. I know that for the first time in your privileged life, you wish you were not an only child.

Do not worry, you will not be alone much longer. And yes, I will still be the program host for your wedding reception next year. I have not done that in over a decade but even if the butterflies in my stomach morph into a stampede of elephants, there is no backing out.

I so look forward to your having children. Your first child, as promised, will call me Ninong. Carla wants 5 kids. Five kids who will have to pay the debts incurred by your Idol Digong.

#TumorYears dear friend. And 7 months as a bachelor.

Love from your friend who is twice your age plus 4.